Failure is An Option: I know I will recover

I had finally finished my appointment. I was rushing out to the car. I was shocked as I realized that large flakes of snow were falling, the evening sky was dark, and the streets were dangerously slippery, as they are in a new snowfall before the streets are coated with brine.

I had to be in class in 40 Minutes and I was far enough away that I knew, in the best of conditions, it was going to be a 60-minute drive. In these conditions, in rush hour traffic, it was going to take much longer.

As I slid into my seat, I frantically tried to think what the consequence would be if I was late for this class. It was very important to me, at that time in my life, to access the information that was going to be taught that night, in that particular class. I started to pray. I asked my higher power what I needed to do.

An impression came into my mind that I could pray to be blessed as if…. I do not visualize well. However, I could trust that my words would be enough. So I asked my higher power to bless me to travel safely, that all those traveling around me would be safe and then I asked to be blessed as if I had left my appointment in a timely manner to arrive in class before the lecture had begun.

I had chosen to remain later at my appointment and now I was in great need to arrive at the next one. It would not be possible without some help. I turned to my higher power for that help.

Are there things you have done that have damaged your relationships and hurt those you love most? Are there times when you feel that you will never have an opportunity to rebuild a relationship? Have you ever wondered how life with those you love could be so hard? Is there a loving creator when such awful things have happened?

One of the things I have learned through identifying and studying the Relate Social Structure is that there really is mercy. My family can be blessed as if I had never made a mistake in raising my children. I have made so many mistakes in my family relationships. Yet, there has always been a way to mend, to ask for forgiveness and to find ways to build strong, healthy relationships.

Because I have learned that there is enough time and there are ways to mend any relationship, I have had the courage to allow my children to develop their relationships with others in natural ways. I have found that as dangerous as this feels, the earlier a child learns to trust their own judgment, the wiser they will be when they are making long term commitments. I may want to choose their friends, but I will not do it because they know better than I do who they get along with the best.

Here is a quote from Relate:

“The process begins in early childhood.  If parents don’t interfere, they will observe that their children will naturally make friends with children in their own Law System. They can, of course, develop other friendships, and having siblings can help them see the value of friends functioning outside of their Law System, but their first priority will always be with those who share their own Law System.”

On that snowy night, I found myself on a journey that I could never have designed for myself. I knew that I had failed to leave timely. I was on roads I was familiar with. I knew how long it took to drive each section and I knew that I was driving with caution and careful slow care in snowy weather. There were moments of white-knuckle driving because of the ice and evening traffic. Yet, everything unfolded so smoothly. With great amazement, I arrived at the class less than 10 minutes late.

And, as I stepped through the door, as if on que, the professor closed the book on his podium and said, “Well, that is enough review of the material we will be covering this semester. Let’s begin the lecture.”

I had been blessed as if I had left in a timely manner and the roads had been completely clear. I was blessed as if I had not been late at all for class. The class began the moment I arrived. I was so grateful that in my moment of weakness and imperfection, I was blessed as if I had perfectly timed my every action.

In the Relate Social Structure, you will find that there is mercy for you. You will find the ability to receive the blessings you desire in your family, as if you knew how to relate perfectly with others. Working one by one, you will find the time and the means to heal each wounded heart.